Top 10 Reasons Every Stay-At-Home Parent Must Take Charge of the Family’s End-of-Life Plan
One of the driving factors that moved us to start Prepare Your Affairs is the alarmingly high number of widows and widowers in our support group who still have children under the age of 18 living at home. While it seems obvious that younger families are more vulnerable to the impact of death, I never considered how harsh that reality is until after Kris died.
Young families don’t have as much financial security and they have more debt. Responsibility for children exacerbates the impact of a loss. Plus, the ever-increasing life expectancy makes it easier to procrastinate the creation of appropriate legal documents that protect their loved ones.
While it’s true that generally people are living longer, it’s still sobering to consider that in the United States, approximately five percent of children have lost one or both parents by the age of 15 (census.gov). That’s one out of every 20. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but when you think about it in the context of it being one kid in every classroom, one kid from every soccer game, or one kid from every school choir, suddenly the number doesn’t seem so small.
With that in mind, following are the top 10 reasons every stay-at-home parent should make sure their family has a plan for “what-if” your breadwinning partner doesn’t make it home tonight:
Finding living wage work when you’ve not been employed in years can be hard – Having a good financial plan that doesn’t require you to immediately find a job gives you time to consider options and, if necessary, go back to school or seek additional training
Good childcare is expensive and hard to find – Planning ahead can provide you with options that best meet the needs of your family
Need income to replace income earner’s wages and benefits – Even if you have savings and life insurance to cover you for a while, you may need to find work just to have health insurance and other benefits
Stability for you and your children – A plan that allows you to stay in your existing home and maintain your current support system of friends, teachers, and daily activities can be an important element in healthy grieving
Time to adjust to a new normal – It’s going to take time to adjust to a new normal, and a good plan allows you the freedom to grieve appropriately and learn how to live and care for your family without your partner
Peace of mind while partner is still living – Knowing you’re prepared for the future allows you to enjoy and appreciate each other more in the present.
Confidence that you know what to do and can care for yourself – Having a good plan and knowing how to execute it can go a long way in minimizing unnecessary stress and anxiety after a partner dies.
Control of your own life – A good plan allows you to choose how to live the rest of your life and not be forced to make difficult decisions.
Minimizes family in-fighting – Grief makes people do and say things they otherwise wouldn’t. Having a plan (and making sure the appropriate people know that the plan exists) prevents extended family members and even children from trying to force their opinions about what they think is best on you.
Minimizes anger towards deceased partner – Many blame their deceased partner for any suffering they may experience in life after the partner’s death. This anger and resentment makes it difficult to heal and grieve in a healthy way.
We hope this is helpful. If you have found other tips or resources to be helpful, shoot us a note and tell us about them.
Cheers!
Corey
P.S. Don’t forget to check out our free downloads to help in your personal end-of-life planning.