Scams Against the Grieving
One of the most upsetting challenges we have discovered since joining the widowhood world is the proliferation of scams that target individuals and families in mourning. Loss is hard enough as it is, but to be violated by someone looking to take advantage of one’s vulnerable state is a cruel twist of the proverbial knife. This week in our blog we discuss scams against those who are grieving.
Romance Scam
The pangs of loneliness for widows and widowers is very real. When you suddenly find yourself crawling into bed at night alone after years of sharing it with your lifelong love, it doesn’t take long to feel isolated and empty. Many will try to fill that void by dating again and scammers are eagerly awaiting them while concocting schemes to drain them of their life insurance payouts or pension plan inheritances.
This scenario is especially true in our online dating era. Professional swindlers lurk in the shadows, ready to swipe right for anyone who shows signs of vulnerability. There are so many tools and tricks they use to present themselves as someone they are not. They are good at listening and telling you what you want to hear, so much so that even the smartest, most cautious can be had.
Debby Montgomery Johnson, a former paralegal, Air Force intelligence officer, and bank teller was one such victim. After her husband of 26 years died suddenly, the now single mom felt lonely and described being “around people but wasn’t really with them.” After several months her friends convinced her to create a profile on an online dating site. Shortly thereafter, she connected with someone who claimed he was a businessman working overseas in Malaysia. Because cell coverage “was spotty,” he convinced her to communicate mostly through online chat. Long story short, after two years of chatting and never meeting, and after supporting him and his business by periodically sending money, which totaled over a million dollars, he confessed to be a Nigerian man who was scamming her.
Debbie has since written a book to document her experience and to help others from falling victim to similar scams. Learn more at https://thewomanbehindthesmile.com/.
If you find yourself in the online dating world, the following are a few tips to protect yourself:
Never accept an unsolicited friend request from strangers
Avoid information in your profile that might indicate your status as a widow or widower
Be especially cautious of anyone “working overseas”
Watch for the following red-flag behaviors:
Asks for money repeatedly and/or with an urgent tone
Focuses on common religious beliefs to connect with you
Consistently breaks promises because something has "come up"
Asks unusual number of questions about your family or business
Shares stories about their background or history that can’t be verified
Always finds excuses not to introduce you to their family
Demands access to your computer or phone
Becomes irritated or upset when asked too many questions
IRS Scams
Using information from an obituary or newspaper article about a person’s death, scammers will submit a bogus tax return in the name of the deceased. Guard social security numbers with your life. Legitimate organizations will never ask you for this information over text, email, or phone.
Robbery During Funeral
As sick as it sounds, people’s homes have been burglarized during funeral or memorial services. Thieves (which can often be relatives or friends) bank on the entire family being away for the service. Ask a trusted neighbor or friend to house sit during the service.
Vendor Fraud
Be wary of any letters, emails, or phone calls from anyone who claims that your deceased spouse owed them money. One widow in our support group received harassing phone calls from someone claiming to be from a collection agency months after her husband’s death. They were seeking payment for unpaid hospital bills from when her spouse was sick. Fortunately, the widow had received and kept statements saying that the balance had been paid by their insurance.